WWMD?

My good friend Moses came over today and we ventured to the bookstore to pick up our first book for the book club that was discussed in our meeting last week about the public toilet situation.  I'm not sure how we side barred into agreeing to start a book club, but we did.  You know those women, the power of persuasion is very strong.  That and a little flash of sexy thigh - well, that got my attention for sure!  

Needless to say, our first book will be "Born Free, A Lioness of Two Worlds".   After we read the book, we are going to watch the movie.  I've talked to a few of the volunteers that have seen this movie and they said it was a real tear tearjerker!!!  I'm sure it will be an interesting read.  BB is really excited, she's heard many wonderful things about this book.

Anyways, while we were at the bookstore, Moses told me about what has been happening with him lately.  You see, we don't get to visit much.  He's busy with his life and social calendar.  He did tell me about something that I did find a bit disturbing.

Recently it seems that something happened in his neighborhood that was out of the ordinary.  Now you must understand, we all live in a community that is well known for it's zero tolerance for crime and violence.  And when I say no tolerance, well, in fact, we haven't had crime since this community was established in 2000!  

But I digress.  Moses said that record is now broken...something terrible, absolutely horrendous happened to him the other day.  He, HE of all people was victimized.
I know, I know...shocking to say the least.  How could anyone ever think of victimizing Moses.  

Moses said he was ambushed.  He was out on a leisurely stroll on the playground when he saw something out of the corner of his eye.   Being an extremely gentle, friendly guy, he went over to say hello to this individual and WHAM! Right in the kisser.  He was attacked, unprovoked, by a squirrel!  Yes folks, a squirrel.  The squirrel was demanding nuts, NUTS from Moses or else.  Moses said he was the size of a cougar.  He was completely stunned.  Of course he didn't have any nuts or acorns or peanuts to give to this lunatic, so he ran as fast as he could back to his house with this incredibly mammoth squirrel hot on his heels.  I'm just thankful Moses was able to get away without further injury.  

He asked me what I would have done in a situation like that, being, you know...King Midas and all.  I thought to myself....WHAT WOULD MIDAS DO?  WWMD? WWMD?  What would I do?  Well, I would have probably used my awesome Kung Fu powers on him.  Cougar sized squirrels are no joke people.  NO JOKE!  They will take you down in a heartbeat.  Even a tiger, one as awesome as me.  You have to be lightening fast, Bruce Lee lightening fast.  That is really, really fast for those not in the know.  Once you have them down - you can then reason with them.  If that doesn't work, then you will have to try to hypnotize them.  If that doesn't work - well, then you are out of options, you have to run for it.  When a squirrel wants his nut, there is nothing stopping him.  You've seen that unstable squirrel in Ice Age - phew...scary man, scary.  

Those were the things I told Moses I would do.  I told him to maybe look into reporting it to the local authorites, moving, taking Kung Fu lessons or carrying around lots of nuts in his pockets in case he is confronted again. 

What have we learned from this folks? 

• Squirrels are NO JOKE!!!
• Bruce Lee is lightening fast.
• Born Free - the movie is a tearjerker

Peace out!


M~